Currently Listening How To Save A Life By The Fray see related

If anyone still checks this. . .stop, I don't use it

I do, however, use a little thing called a myspace.

www.myspace.com/elocin_85      if you are curious

Peach out!

So Kevin like just made my night. . .even though it was pretty good anyway. . .He always Ims me to go to this site and shyt so he can get something out of it. . .so I wrote back. . .that I was offended that the only times he IMs me is for that. . .and he goes. . ."don't be offended I love you. . .see I even got out of bed to tell you that. . ." . . .awwww like seriously. . .haha. . .ok thats enough. . .

So tonight was aight. . .Ambiee. . .I hope you had a good time. . .sorry your birthday kinda sucked but I hope we we're able to make to laugh a little. . .I love ya!

OK thats all

Tomarrow should rock. . .getting highlights and the cafe with. . .once again. . .the cool kids!

Happy Birthday Ambieeeeeeee!!!!! So, anyway. . .last night I was really out of it at work. . .I just didn't want to be there. . .but luckily. . .neither did Mrs. K, and we cleaned everything rather early. . .we even covered the olive bar at like 10:40. . .which is like a sin to the appy. . .haha. . .of course it still takes me a half hour to get home so yeah. . . ummmm. . .i gotta work today again. . .2:30-6:30. . .Claytons last day. . .bummer. . .anyway. . .tonight for Ambiees birthday a few of the cool kids are hanging out. . .basically just amber, becky and I. . . Claytons a maybe, and RJ. . .I dunno. . .is being a loser. . .haha. . .j/k. . . um. . .I have nothing to say. . .I dont even know why Im writing in this. . .all I write about is gay stuff and work. . .which is also gay. . .haha Ok so. . .bye

I'm really drained right now. . .

I have no idea what happened tonight. . .

Nor do I know the final outcome of it all. . .

All I know. . .is, we have all come a long way. . .and have changed alot. . .and who is to say what is good and what is bad. . .its just change. . .

I like change. . .and yeah. . .this sunday, I wont be at the UMC. . .thats just the way it has to be. . .I don't feel like I'm in God's will. . .So I'm off to seek it. . .I feel like I'm at the wrong church, the wrong school, I'm with the wrong people. . .maybe even the job. . .I've been doing my own thing. . .never consulting God. . .I truely believe I will only be blessed when Im in his will. . .and the last two places or situations that blessed me where working at Atlantic Books. . .Marie was a blessing and someone I will not forget. . .and I learned from her through her love of God and the spirit. . .and I am being blessed each day at shoprite. . .as well though the people there. . .school doesnt do that. . .and church leaves me empty. . .and I don't think I can do much about school. . .Im already in to much of a mess. . .but I know I can atleast find where I belong in a church. . .

Its occuring to me that this may all be somewhat incoherrent. . .and my vision is somewhat blured so I'll put this to rest for now. . .

Currently Listening Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge By My Chemical Romance Helena see related

After last night. . .I've been reconsidering. . .see I was known as a church hopper. . . and then I settled. . .right when I was about to move on again. . .and now I feel stuck. . .I wanna move on. . .I think its time to. . .Im too empty inside. . .I get soo upset. . .like I'll let people down. . .screw people. . .I have to do this for me. . .

Stuck is a good word. . .I feel stuck with something else too. . .or shall I say someone. . .Amber, you know. . .I mean I feel tied down, and Im soo not. . .It feels unfair. . .I hate this feeling. . .and yet I don't want to hurt him. . .and I can't help but wonder if something good could come out of getting to know him. . .or maybe this is how God is answering my prayer on the matter. . .is he saying no? Part of me thinks he should. . .

Im so frustrated this morning. . .

But last night rocked. . .the appy is amazing! Thank you guys for making my day!

*sigh*

I could go for a hug about now. . .

oh well. . .

on a good note. . .Ambiees comming over tonight and Imma cook. . .not sure what. . .Imma go to shoprite today and pick something up. . .and yo I so think I made her a vegetarian this morning. . .and that wasn't my intention. . .sorry Amb. . .ok no Im not. . .save the chickens! Yo I think thats my new motto! haha. . .I like it. . .

to quote ambiee. . ."my lil' bun bun"

haha you crack me up!

ok thats all I got. . .now Im off to spend some birthday cash and hit up starbucks. . .oh yeah!